If Death Were A Shape
by Kamitose
Summary: Prequel Shaping What We've Become... Angelus needs information on the Beast... and he knows just how to get it. Character siring. AngelusFred hintings of FredGunn and FredWes.


**Title:** If Death Was A Shape... 

**Chapter 1:** Triangular Deterioration

**Author:** Alicia "Kamitose" Hackney

**Summary:** Prequel Shaping What We've Become... Angelus needs information on the Beast... and he knows just how to get it. Character siring. Angelus/Fred hintings of Fred/Gunn and Fred/Wes

**Rating:** R, for strong language, violence, and sexual situations.

**Disclaimer:** None of the characters mentioned in this piece of fiction belong to me. They belong to the cast and crew of Angel, especially Joss Whedon and David Greenwalt, Mutant Enemy (Grrr-Arg!) and Fox.

**Distribution:** As long as I am credited, and as long as you ask (and let me know once it's posted) then I don't care where its distributed. BUT you have to ask.

**Author's Note:** This takes place prior to and during the season 4 episode Release. This is also AU on the Events in Supersymmetry. In this fic, Fred actually DOES kill Seidel and Gunn gets there in time to see it happen.

* * *

The lithe brunette sighed heavily in frustration.

Hours had been spent researching, rummaging, scouring every single inch of every single book in the office, which as of late seemed to be in a constant state of disarray. Today it had been experienced the wrath of Hurricane Fred as she scanned through the shelves tossing out the books that weren't the one she was seeking.

Her mind seemed focused on two things at once. Fred was pretty dangerous when she was focused on a singular object or objective. She had a dangerous mind that wise men had ought fear if she choose to use it against them.

One only need ask UCLA Physics Professor Oliver Seidel about the matter. But no man ever would. Fred had seen to that.

The act of carrying out his death sentence is what tore her brilliant mind from focusing its all into finding the book in question. She grimaced as if to make an attempt to scold herself mentally for focusing on a situation that could be dealt with later. She needed to focus on finding that book on transcriptions. For the group, for L.A., for her to keep her mind off Seidel.

She repeated a mantra in her head to keep her focused.

_Transcriptions... Transcriptions... Transcriptions... Transitions... Transgressions... Transde- dammit!_

She made a face of disgust at her lack of self control. Always an issue of control. Or a lack of it. Circumstance had a way with favoring the other person. The type of person who didn't deserve it. Not like she did. In her eyes, she more than deserved the chance for a bit of control. That was it.

All she wanted was to have one instant where everything was in her control. No outside forces to weigh her down. Even when Angel, Cordy, and Wesley were gone, even with Fred obviously being the one running the show, things were beyond her control. Bills had poured in, too high for her to pay and afford to have a life simultaneously. Angel and Cordy were always beyond their reach, disappeared to God knows where. She had no control over the lack of witnesses or leads. No control over what ever the Hell was going on with Lorne over in Vegas. No control over Conner... but a slight bit of control over Gunn.

She once controlled Seidel. Made him pure petrified, repugnant, putty. Hers for the molding, the shaping, the controlling. Hers to kill. He was the one who did this to her. Stripped her of her control. Stripped five years of her life that she will never get back.

Sent her to Hell.

So she returned the favor. She sent him to Hell right back. With a crossbow bolt to the neck. His limp dead body then being sucked into the portal she had opened just for him.

She killed a human. She had smiled inwardly at the feeling of control, the release of all that burning hatred in one swift move, after all the vengeful earful of mental anguish she poured on her former idol.She would have smiled on the outside as well... had her _Charles_ not arrived in just enough time to witness the bolt render Seidel dead.

That was the beginning of the end... though what the end was for had been up for debate.

Fred shook the thoughts from her head almost violently.

A curled lock of hair fell in front of her face, obscuring her vision only slightly, but just enough to agitate the frustrated woman. She blew it away from her face and took her glasses off for a moment as she pinched the bridge of her nose. Then placed them back on her face.

Another sigh escaped her lips and like the sound of a gun, signaled her back to her scavenger hunt for the elusive book.

She crinkled her nose in a look of deep concentration.

"If I were a Runic transcription guide, I would be..." Fred let out a sigh of frustration as she found her target and removed it from the shelf "shelved wrong."

She silently Tsk'd Angel and Wesley for their organization skills.

A voice from behind cut her inaudible agitation like a knife.

"Talking to yourself, Fred? A lot of that going around." Her shoulders tensed at the sound of _his_ voice.

She cursed to herself mentally. She'd been doing that a lot lately. Cursing.

Angelus emerged from the shadows, mockingly calm. He smiled slightly. He liked to smile an awful lot. Something she had come to notice. She hated that... She hated him.

He loved control.

He just stood confidently by the doorway. Not advancing... not yet anyway.

She took in a sharp breath and mustered up as much false courage and bravado as she could find. "You can't hurt me... We did a no-demon-violence thingy."

He didn't advance. Just mocked. "Oh, the sanctuary spell. Shucks. Oh, wait a minute. I think Iâ€"" He removed a small, flashy charm from his pocket, twirling it around his finger. He started to advance. "Oh, yeah, kinda thought you pesky P.I.'s would be humming that old tune, so I picked up a little something'-something'... let's me be as demony as I wanna be."

"I don't believe you." she weakly retorted.

He moved in front of her and made an attempt to grab the book, she tried to keep it from his grip. It was in vain. He ripped it from her delicate hands and in an inhumanly swift motion slammed the book against the wall right beside her head, leaving her back pressed firmly against the wall. Her body jolted with a start, her heart pounding what felt like an impossible measure of beats per second.

"How 'bout now?"

He could smell it. The fear that overtook her. He took in her scent, savoring every last particle of fear he could.

She was trapped between the bookshelves on either side, Angelus looming over her, and a wall that wouldn't give no matter how much she wished it to.

Again... all sense of control was stripped from her. Consequence saw it fit to bestow it on Angelus's crown instead. He'd get his soon enough she mentally reminded herself. They would find his soul and shove it right back up his vampiric -

His cold sneer broke her train of thought.

"What do you want?" She managed. It was all she could do from looking into his eyes.

He looked her up and down. His slightly turned up lips subtly hid his agitation and determination. He focused on her big brown eyes which she hid behind her glasses. He wanted something.

"Maybe I just miss you." he paused waiting for her to react. When he got no visible response he continued. "Well, since you brought it up, let's talk Beastmaster. Whaddaya got?" The killer smile transformed into what could best be described as a snarl.

Her body was tense, to the point that she felt like her muscle fibers would snap like guitar strings that had been wound too tight. She slightly shook her head, letting her eyes close. Couldn't let him see the fear in her eyes... even if he could feel it with every other of his senses. She stuttered an answer to his question.

"Nothing."

"Come on, Fred. All this raw material. Brainiac like you. You must have a theory." He mocked.

She then realized that he was stalling. The great Angelus was stalling the tiny Winifred Burkle. The jackal assessing the hare. She felt a tiny portion of her courage return to her from whatever Hell it had fled to. She opened her mouth to say what perchance would have been as bold as it was foolhardy.

But _he_ beat her to it.

"I know what you did, Freddie. Thinkin' your all sugar n' spice with a bag of nails thrown in for good measure." His face was lit with a sadistic glee. He moved his head closer to hers, their cheeks brushing.

His skin, normally cold as vampires tend to be, felt like dry ice, chilling and burning her at once. He stopped, his lips resting at her earlobe. His smile widening all the more as he muttered his next verbal assault.

"Lookie e're, M's B'rkle, bagg'd hurself a bigg'n dis time." He moved his head back and without dropping his terribally fake Southern drawl, he whooped a harsh yee-ha like some sadistic cowboy and looked his cattle-girl in the eyes. "How many points are professors in Texas, Fred?"

She winced. He knew.

"Looks like that teddy bear of a monster you once fancied your knight wasn't as dim as we thought, eh?" Angelus mused.

Her heart tightened and felt like it had taken up residence in her throat. That was the one place she didn't want it to be. She began to sweat. She couldn't help but believe that tonight she was going to die at the hands of the man who had saved her from Hell.

They were certainly his large hands... but it wasn't him using them. Angel is not in there right now. She kept reminding herself that. It was all she could do to fight the urge to crumble in front of the demon. She would not let him get what he sought. Of that much she was resolute on.

"_He_ was a monster." She said, finally sucking it up and staring him in the eyes with the same passionate hatred that they held when she stared down Seidel.

He parted his thin lips to speak but she cut him off.

"You, however," she straightened her back a bit, making her appear taller. "you are just a deviant little kid parading around with your foul mouth spouting off words too big for you to understand. You're the bully in the school yard using trash talk to over-hype your reputation and hide your fears and insecurities. Picking on the small kids. Well guess what, Angelus..." Hatred was now her friend... her weapon. She returned his sneer, her eyes practically glowing from behind her glasses.

"...this kid has decided to fight back!" She said feeling a odd sense of gain, she was taking some control back.

He should have been shocked at the minute woman's sudden boldness. Should have...

Instead he threw a hardy and demeaning laugh right into her face. He would get what he wanted. He was Angelus after all.

She continued her glare, her trembling was back but not from fear this time. This time it was from the seething anger and hatred boiling and burbling in the very deepest depths of her ever-darkening soul. She wanted to beat that frat boy jolliness out of him. Wanted to keep beating him until he submitted. She wanted the great Angelus to submit to her and beg.

The laughing stopped as he caught her glare with his own.

Then there was blinding pain on the right side of her face where her jaw bone connected with the region just behind the cheek bone. She closed her eyes, she could feel it swelling already. Reds, blacks and blues mixing with the color of her gently sun-kissed skin. Blood slowly trickled from the corner of her mouth.

The force of this monster backhanding her delicate face had knocked her glasses crooked. Angelus smiled his cruelest smile and in a gesture fully meant to mock and disgust the girl, he pushed them gently back up her nose. Just as Angel had done with her many times.

The rage in her swelled again. She had been pushed around, pushed down, and pushed to the edge one too many times. It was her misfortune that Angelus was the one to push her over. She glared hatefully at the vampire and caught him off guard as she dug her nails into his left thigh.

Angelus winced in pain. Snarling, he grabbed both of her wrists and slammed her hard against the wall. Relishing the yelp of pain he had caused her to let out.

"Stupid cow. You realize that only makes me want to hurt you more?" His glare was one of pure primal rage... but it was mixed with something else. Something she couldn't place. "You'd like me to hurt you more wouldn't you? T'sk, t'sk. What would Gunn say?" He let out a fake gasp "Worse yet, what would Wesley say? I mean after all... while you made love to Gunn... all you could think about was Wesley being in you. Mmm... its like some sorta break-down that you brainy types would have a phrase for. Might call it 'Triangular Deterioration' or some wordy bull shit like that."

He sniffed her again. Her hate-filled glare was lessening... fear taking its place once more. He released his grip from one of her wrists and brought his hand to caress the swollen black mark he inflicted on her cheek. She shuddered at his cold touch. "Has anyone ever told you how good you look in black?" He said commenting on her affliction. "You should wear it more often. Head to toe. It suits you."

She felt only confusion for a moment before he leaned his head back down towards her throat. "You **will** help me Winifred. Not because I will make you... but because you will want to. That and so much more..." He chuckled slightly to himself.

A discomfort rose from her belly and overwhelmed her. She began to squirm in his firm, cool grip. "No..."

"Now, now Freddie... I would never hurt you. You know that. Handsome man saves you from the monsters." He sneered. "No."

"You belong in darkness, Fred. Here, always in darkness. Like me. Think of the control you would have. You could make any one of them your bitch..." Angelus offered.

Fred's eyes widened... he wasn't going to kill her outright, she thought... he was going to sire her. "Then I'd be your bitch." Her eyes narrowed on him.

Angelus smiled. "And what a fine bitch you'd make."

She spat at him, a combination of saliva and blood that had mixed from the blow to the head she had priorly sustained. "Go to Hell."

"Been there done that, well the fiery one that is... y'know... you seem to fancy portals any particular Hell you got in mind for me? Maybe Fluffy Bunny Hell?" He pressed his body against hers. "Or how 'bout Pylea... hear the suns there are real fine this time of year." He craned his head to rest near her jugular and flicked his tongue out. He dragged in down her flesh causing her to shiver involuntarily.

Shiver with revulsion. Fear was peaking in her now, but she was resolute in staying strong. Just a little longer. Just a little longer... she thought.

"Fuck you." Was all she could manage.

She imagined he was smiling as he uttered the next statement. "Here? Right now? Hardly seems appropriate... Marlboro Man and Baldy Boy may walk in and... hey, not one to judge." He pressed himself harder against her.

She winced in pain. She was sore, tired, she wanted to just give in. But she wouldn't. She had to think of the others... couldn't let them down. She'd sooner take one for the team. "May as well kill me Angelus. I won't give you what you want."

He grew frustrated. "Oh you will. I will have every inch of you giving everything to me. Interpret that anyway you want because chances are any interpretation you have of them is right. You're gonna double duty for me. You're gonna research with the 'team' on who this piss-ant Beastmaster is, and then you're gonna tell me what you learn." He let himself slip into game face, the ridges brushing against her flesh as they formed. She tensed. "And then, if you're a good girl, and do what papa tells you, you get to ride the big kids train all night long." He let his voice drop. "You know you'd like that."

"Shut up..." She wasn't sounding so strong anymore. Fear had washed into her voice. Stay strong Fred... stay strong... where the Hell are they? she thought.

"What makes you think your friends will save you, Fred, when they can't even save themselves?" He rested his fangs on her throat. "Then again, when this is all over, you won't give a fuck about them... not when you're fucking me." He drove his fangs deep into her vein and greedily began to drain her precious life blood.

Her eyes shot open wide with pain. She tried to manage a scream but the only sounds produced from her throat were raspy gasps of air trying to keep her alive. Her eyes had started to water as her eyes began rolling back into her head. The pain was excruciating. There was no overwhelming pleasure. There was no insensate lust. There was only the pain, the overwhelming pain. The blackness that crept in and stole what little life was left in her. The numbness, the emptiness... the void that threatened to swallow her breaking body whole.

She tried to think something worthy of being her last thought... but all she could think was 'So this is what it's like to die...'. Ever the scientific minded. No more calls from ma and papa, no more late night movies with a big tub of Hagaan Daas. No more pondering the significance of the smile on a Goldfish cracker. No more tacos, no more life.

He withdrew his fangs from her and licked his lips greedily. He slashed his wrist with his fang and held it to her mouth.

"Your turn." He smiled wickedly.

Fred's knees began to buckle beneath her. She attempted to grab the bookshelves for support but failed and had nearly crumbled to the floor. Her eyes rolled in and out of her head and her head bobbed like an infant's... the neck refusing to give her any support.

"Drink!" He said more commandingly.

"Let... let me die..." she hoarsely uttered. She fell to her knees and slumped against the uncomfortable grain of the shelves.

"I will once you drink, woman!" He hissed. He made no attempt to hide his agitation. He held his bleeding arm to her face, pressing it against her lips.

The smell was tempting her, so she clenched her lips shut in an urgent manner. She weakly shook her head. He kneeled over her body, straddling her, as if to remind her who was in control.

"Then I will make you drink." He said jamming his first two fingers of his other hand into her mouth and forced her jaw to give way and open. He held his wound to her parted lips and then removing his fingers from her mouth and grabbed her hair pulling her head back so that she had no choice but to allow his blood to flow into her.

"Now swallow!"

She refused.

He gave her hair another yank. She swallowed involuntarily and in that instant, as the blood began flowing down her throat, she could feel the pangs of the hunger. It now felt like it wasn't enough, She needed more. He wasn't restraining her hands any longer and she reached up and pulled his bleeding arm closer and further into her mouth.

More, she craved so much more. The fluid in her mouth becoming everything... the only thing... the one thing, Solitary absolute. Blood. Blood was life. Blood was death. Blood was everything.

And then there was pain. Her soul being ripped from her like she had ripped Kaliberries from their bushes in Pylea, without thought, but out of necessity to harbor what was to come and become of Winifred Burkle.

Now she found the chance to scream out. Now as her body burned from the last bits of her soul clinging to her and failing against the outside force pulling it out of her casing. Now she knew what it all meant, in that one moment of clarity... the world suddenly made sense.

And with her last breath she heard the doors to the Hyperion open.

They were too late.

Always too late.

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End chapter one.

A/N: To clear something up... since this **is** an AU fic... that amulet Angelus has, is in fact the real deal so he is able to inflict damage unto her. So comments, questions, feedback (love feedback). I hope you liked. Part 2: Winifred is Like a Disc will be coming soon.


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